Minute for Affirm
Family
1) Hi, good to see you!
2) You too!
1) So, how did you spend Thanksgiving?
2) Oh, I got together with my family for a big dinner, of course.
1) Yes me too…seems to me that “family” is one of the main themes of Thanksgiving.
2) Yup, for sure.
1) Well, that got me thinking…
2) Uh-oh, you know you might just do too much of that…
1) What?? Not possible. Anyhow, I was wondering about what it is that we call family – what do you think it is?
2) Aww, c’mon, that’s obvious – parents and some kids … well you’d often include grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins … if you want to go big and get technical.
1) Yes that takes care of what we call nuclear and extended. But I’m not convinced that definition applies nowadays… and maybe it applied less in the past than we might imagine too.
2) Really? What do you mean?
1) Well there have always been single-parent families, for instance, and even no-parent families sometimes, for many different reasons.
2) I suppose that’s true … one or both parents may have died, or left even.
1) Sometime a child even ended up as the family leader, if both parents died or was seriously ill. Or grandparents or others may take over the care of orphans.
2) Sure, but that’s still extended family.
1) And single parents are much more common now than they once were, with divorce and separation being quite common. Sometimes single people adopt too.
2) Yes, true. So family can be defined as a social group mainly for looking after children then.
1) Well partly, that doesn’t even look the same nowadays. Sometimes same-sex couples have and raise children. Sometimes there’s even a third parent, like a biological parent who stays involved.
2) This is getting complicated! But not as complicated as some families – like families where parents remarried. I know some people with big groups of parents, grandparent, half-siblings.
1) Yes I do too! And there’s lots of couples, straight or gay, who never have children – surely they’re still families?
2) Well I suppose they are. Gay and lesbian couples are a pretty new thing eh?
1) Oh I’m not so sure about that! Officially yes, but I remember some same sex pairs, one even from my childhood … owned a house in our neighbourhood, acted just like any other couple in any ways I could see. Of course in those days there was no public affection, no wedding, and no-one ever talked about them as lesbian or gay … but you know when I got older it really seemed to me that they were a family.
2) Hmm, you’re probably right. Family seems more fluid and varied than I’d thought.
1) It’s also kinda fragile. Bonds can break by death or choice like we’ve already discussed, but sometimes they can be broken forcibly…
2) Oh, I think you might mean like being removed into foster-care, maybe the “60’s scoop”, or even the damage caused by residential schools?
1) Yes the damage to those families may last for generations yet.
2) Still, I think a family is a real thing, even if you may have been adopted or fostered.
1) Sure, they can be new families if all goes well. But what makes a real family?
2) Hmm, I guess it’s some sort of household that offers its members acceptance and support and stability.
1) That sounds like as good a definition as we could have!
2) And I think no matter what kind of composition that group has, it deserves our support as a community!
1&2) Amen to that!